COFFIN DOLLARS: THE ULTIMATE PUNISHMENT

Section 4, Article 2, Subsection 3: The Lesser Crimes

As per the COFFin Dollars Act of 1987, any citizen found guilty of consuming more than three helpings of coffee shall be subject to a fine of 500 COFFin Dollars.

For a list of lesser crimes, see:

• Taking a Fourth Helping of Coffee
• Taking a Second Helping of Coffee (a misdemeanor)
• Taking a Third but Not Actually a Harmful Amount of Coffee