Directive 42-3: The Unconventional Guide to Unconventional Governance

Subsection 1: Mandatory Moods

As per Directive 42-3, all employees are required to maintain a minimum of 3.5 hours of sustained outrage per shift.

This is not a suggestion. Failure to comply will result in a mandatory 30-minute coffee break, which will be monitored and timed.

Subsubsection 1.1: Acceptable Forms of Outrage

Subsubsection 1.2: Unacceptable Forms of Outrage

Proceed to Section 2: Mandatory Sarcasm

Subsection 2: Mandatory Sarcasm

Sarcasm is a powerful tool for achieving productivity. It's like a super-powered chainsaw that cuts through bureaucracy like it's butter.

Return to Section 1: Mandatory Moods

Example Sarcasm Script:

Oh joy, another pointless meeting. Can we just skip to the part where we discuss our feelings and pretend to care about the outcome?

Proceed to Section 4: Mandatory Jokes

Subsection 3: Mandatory Jokes

Jokes are the lifeblood of any successful organization. They're like oxygen for your soul.

Return to Section 2: Mandatory Sarcasm

Example Joke Script:

Why did the manager bring a ladder to the party? Because they heard the drinks were on the house!

Return to Directive 42

Proceed to Section 5: Mandatory Procrastination