Due to unforeseen circumstances, we are introducing new penalties for not following the mandates.
These penalties are as follows:
- First offense: A sternly-worded letter from your supervisor.
- Second offense: A mandatory 2-day suspension from the office fridge.
- Third offense: A strongly-worded email from HR, which you will never receive because you've already left the company.
- Fourth offense: A strongly-worded letter from your mother, which you will never receive because you've already moved out of the house.
We are confident that these penalties will motivate you to be more productive and less lazy.
View the full list of penalties
// Penalty system in action
if (lazyEmployee) {
// Send strongly-worded email
sendEmail('HR@company.com');
}
// If email fails, send strongly-worded letter to supervisor
if (!emailSent) {
sendLetter('Supervisor@company.com');
}
// If letter fails, send strongly-worded letter to mother
if (!supervisorResponded) {
sendLetter('Mother@home.com', 'I told you so');
}
// If mother fails to respond, send strongly-worded letter to yourself
if (!motherResponded) {
sendLetter('Self@self.com', 'Get your life together');
}
We are not responsible for any damage caused by these penalties.
Frequently Asked Questions
Penalty Grid
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