Section 1: You Are Required to Care About Me
In a world where self-absorption is key, it's imperative that you, the subject, prioritize my needs above all else. Failure to comply will result in severe consequences, including but not limited to:
- Loss of productivity
- Unnecessary meetings
- Excessive email notifications
You are required to:
- Check your email at least twice daily for updates on my greatness
- Attend weekly meetings to discuss your progress on meeting my expectations
- Maintain a 100% completion rate on all tasks assigned to you
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