Section 1: The Initiation

The initiation of Procedure 9 begins with the ceremonial donning of the Silver Sash of Bureaucracy, a garland of intertwined, mirror-finish, chrome-plated wires that symbolize the oncoming tidal wave of paperwork.

Side Note: In a bold move, the Ministry of Bureaucratic Efficiency has decreed that all initiates must wear the sash at all times, even in their sleep.

WARNING: Failure to comply with this mandate may result in severe penalties, including but not limited to, loss of productivity, social ostracism, and/or forced relocation to a cubicle with fluorescent lighting.