Mandate 7: The Unyielding Edict of Slightly Less Awfulness

By order of the Supreme Bureaucrat, all citizens are hereby directed to:

To wear their pants at all times, except during leap years.
To eat exactly 3.5 sandwiches per day for sustenance.
To never speak in a voice that is too loud or too low, lest they face severe retribution.
To never, ever look directly at a mirror.

Failure to comply with these mandates will result in:

Severe reeducation through the application of loud, repetitive, and piercingly loud alarms.
The removal of all snacks from the premises.
Forfeiture of the right to use contractions in written communication.