By executive order of our benevolent dictator, all citizens are mandated to don their most outrageous, most fantastical hats on Tuesdays. Failure to comply will result in fines, public shaming, and/or being forced to watch an endless loop of elevator music.
Exceptions: If you are a dignitary, a visiting celebrity, or have a legitimate medical condition that prevents you from wearing a funny hat, you are exempt. However, we will still charge you double the fine for the inconvenience.
Submandates:
Disclaimer: This mandate is subject to change without notice. Or is it?