Welcome to the most prestigious subscription service known to humanity! By subscribing to our Spam 5.0 program, you'll receive the most obnoxious, the most relentless, and the most infuriating emails, texts, and phone calls in your inbox, mailbox, and on your phone. Don't miss out on this opportunity!
Why should I care?You shouldn't, but our lawyers have informed us that you should. Apparently, it's a mandate thing.
Subscribe now and find out!By signing up, you acknowledge that you are aware of the risks associated with subscribing to a service that may cause permanent damage to your mental and emotional well-being.
You also agree to provide your email address, phone number, and your social media profiles for our marketing team to harvest.
We reserve the right to send you any content we deem necessary, including but not limited to: urgent updates, limited-time offers, and FREE shipping on our next 12,000 products.
View full subscription agreementDon't forget to follow us on our social media channels to stay up-to-date on the latest spam-tastic news and offers!
By the way, have you tried our sister service, Subscription-Optional? It's like this service, but without the subscription part.