By order of the Supreme Ruler of the Known Universe, all citizens are hereby mandated to wear funny hats on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Section 1, Article 1: All citizens are required to wear hats with a minimum of 17 layers of colorful feathers.
Section 1, Article 2: Any citizen found not wearing a funny hat will be subject to severe penalties, including but not limited to: being forced to watch reruns of The Price is Right for an eternity, or being forced to eat a never-ending supply of Brussels sprouts.
Continue to Section 2 Go to Section 3