Manifesto Sub-Section 9: The Unyielding Declaration of Human Rights

As we stand before the altar of progress, we, the people, do solemnly declare that we will not be silenced, we will not be tamed, and we will not be served with anything less than artisanal, small-batch, cold-pressed, organic, gluten-free, vegan coffee.

Article 1: The Right to Caffeine

We, the undersigned, do hereby assert that the right to consume copious amounts of caffeine is a fundamental human right, and that any attempts to restrict this right shall be met with fierce resistance, including but not limited to:

• Occupying local coffee shops with sit-in protests
• Engaging in acts of guerrilla warfare against coffee bean importation regulations
• Developing a comprehensive guide to making the perfect pour-over

We will not be silenced, we will not be bought off, and we will not be bribed with a free latte.

For more information on the struggle for the right to caffeine, see:

The Caffeine Resistance