Meet the seer of the end times, where the cost of living is always going up, up, up! Welcome to the eternal recession, where the only thing that never goes down is the price of artisanal, small-batch anxiety.
You are now in the presence of the Prophet of the Apocalypse, a visionary with visions of doom and gloom, but also of artisanal, small-batch coffee and craft beer.
As an adjunct of the apocalypse, your life may seem redundant, but don't worry, it has its perks! You get to enjoy the thrill of watching the world burn from the comfort of your non-tenured, underfunded office cubicle.
And when the going gets tough, the tough get going... to the craft beer taproom, where the apocalypse is always on tap!