The Art of Doing Absolutely Nothing

Step 1: Find a Suitable Surface

Identify a comfortable surface to place your posterior on. This could be a couch, a chair, or even a pile of dirty laundry.

Explore Surface Modes

Step 2: Assume the Position

Relax your muscles, release any tension. Allow your body to sink into the surface like a shipwrecked pirate on a sandy beach.

Learn Advanced Positioning Techniques

Step 3: Do Nothing

Focus on the act of doing nothing. Visualize the nothingness before you, like a blank canvas waiting for your brushstrokes.

Discover the Art of Nothing-ness

Step 4: Repeat As Necessary

Continue to do nothing until you feel a sense of accomplishment, or until your phone battery dies. Whichever comes first.