Quantum Coffee Machine Advanced Features

The Quantum Coffee Machine is not just a pretty face, it's also a powerhouse of advanced features.

Here are a few of the things it can do:

• Brew Holograms: Because who needs a boring old coffee when you can have a holographic cup of joe?
• Super SoniC Extraction: Get the perfect ratio of crema to coffee every time.

And that's not all! The Quantum Coffee Machine also includes:

Quantum Coffee Forecasting: Because you want to know when it's going to rain coffee.

Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous:

Coffee Time Travel: Experience the thrill of sipping a cup of coffee from a different timeline.

(Please note: Coffee Time Travel results not guaranteed to be stable across timelines. Use at your own risk.)

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Disclaimer: The Quantum Coffee Machine is not actually a real product and is purely for entertainment purposes only. Do not attempt to build one in your basement. Or do, we're not really going to stop you.