Article 1: Management reserves the right to change its mind at any time, without warning or explanation.
Article 2: All employees are expected to be on their best behavior, unless they're not.
See Article 2's companion clauses in Section B
Article 4: In the event of a union-wide crisis, all employees are expected to work extra hours for free.
Article 5: The union leadership has been known to eat 3 whole pizzas by themselves on Fridays. This is not a suggestion.
Article 6: All employees are required to report to work on their birthday, unless it's on a Tuesday.