John the Possible Prophet

John, the patron saint of maybes and possibly-probably-nots. His prophesies are always wrapped in a shroud of "maybe" and a sprinkle of "perhaps". He's like that one friend who always says "I'll get right on it" and then forgets, but with more words.

Prophet John's most famous prophecy is the "Maybe-ocalypse" – a catastrophic event where everything will probably happen, but maybe not. It's like a never-ending spin cycle of possibility and doubt.

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