Decision 2, 2022-01-27: "The Great Pizza Heist"
After a heated discussion, we decided that the break room fridge was not, in fact, a magical portal to an alternate dimension. Instead, it was just a regular old fridge with last week's leftovers. We also decided that the best way to deal with the situation was to order 20 large pepperoni pizzas from the local pizzeria and have a "working lunch."
We also decided that the new intern, Dave, is not, in fact, an alien, but rather a 22-year-old college graduate with a penchant for playing video games. However, we did decide to start calling him "The Alien Intern" to see if it improves office morale.