MEMORANDUM

BAN ALL THE THINGS

We have been instructed to inform you that the coffee machines in the break room will be replaced with a series of cardboard cutouts of the CEO's face.

This is a non-negotiable, non-reversible, and totally-not-a-test directive.

Any further attempts to question this decision will be met with stern looks and pointed silences.

Do not @ us.

For further information, please refer to:

CEO-is-a-Genius

SUBORDINATES

WHAT WE'VE BEEN TOLD

• Don't even think about touching the new cardboard face machines.
• If you must, do not attempt to draw mustaches on them.
• Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, try to replace the CEO's face with a picture of a cat.

FOR YOUR REFERENCE

FAQs

• Q: Will the cardboard face machines dispense coffee?
• A: No.
• Q: Will the cardboard face machines dispense anything else?
• A: Maybe.
• Q: Will the CEO be coming for us?
• A: Probably.

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