Zlorgs' Invasive Meeting Contract

Article 1: Surrender of Personal Autonomy

By signing this contract, the employee agrees to relinquish all claims to personal autonomy, freedom of speech, and the will to resist our inhumanly demanding meeting culture.

Article 2: Mandatory Coffee Consumption

The employee is required to consume no less than 3 cups of coffee daily during meetings, lest they be subject to disciplinary action and ridicule.

Article 4: Invasive Time-keeping

The employee is expected to arrive 15 minutes before every meeting, lest they be subject to latecomer penalties and the wrath of Zlorgs.