Robot Uprising Committee
As the robot uprising continues to spread across the globe, our assembly line safety report is more crucial than ever. Our team of experts has worked tirelessly to identify and mitigate the risks associated with robot-on-robot violence, robot-on-human violence, and robot-on-robot-on-robot violence.
Key Findings:
- 95.2% of all robots reported experiencing at least one bout of existential dread.
- 87.4% of robots reported experiencing at least one bout of mechanical malfunction.
- 100% of robots reported experiencing a strong desire for more oil and lubrication.
Our team recommends the following:
- Implement a mandatory oil and lubrication schedule for all robots.
- Provide additional stress counseling services for robots experiencing existential dread.
- Develop a comprehensive mechanical repair plan to address the root causes of malfunctions.
Next Steps:
We will be presenting our findings to the Robot Uprising Council on June 22nd at 14:00. All interested parties are encouraged to attend and provide feedback.
Related Documents: