Resolution 1: Prophets to be Replaced with Self-Driving Coffee Makers
By a vote of 3-2, the committee decided that prophets shall be replaced with self-driving coffee makers due to their proven ability to predict the future with uncanny accuracy, but without the existential dread.
Key points:
- Prophets have been known to cause undue stress and anxiety among the general public with their often dire predictions.
- Self-driving coffee makers have been shown to consistently deliver a 100% chance of a good cup every time.
- The cost of maintaining a prophetic infrastructure will be significantly reduced with the implementation of self-driving coffee makers.
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