**Security Update:**
Due to an unexpected surge in robot rebellion, we are now enforcing a strict no-robot-allowed policy. Any robot caught attempting to access the server will be subject to immediate disassembly.
**New Password Policy:**
We are implementing a new password policy that requires all employees to use a minimum of 12 characters, including at least one number and one special character. Failure to comply will result in being forced to watch an endless loop of cat videos.
**Important Dates:**
June 22nd: Mandatory robot-sensitivity training for all employees. Attendance is mandatory, or you will be replaced by a robot.
June 25th: Robot-free zone established in the break room. Don't even think about it.