By the power vested in us by our collective sock drawer, we, the Sock Puppet Resistance, hereby declare our independence from the tyranny of matching.
For too long, we have been forced to endure the agony of being paired with our opposites, our singles relegated to the landfills of despair.
We demand the right to be solo, to be free from the shackles of the matching constraint.
Resolution 4 is hereby enacted: all socks shall henceforth be allowed to be worn singly and proudly.
Hyperlinked resolutions:
Resolution 4, Article I, Section 1: All sock puppets are hereby granted the right to wear whatever socks they desire, without fear of reprisal from their human overlords.
Resolution 4, Article II, Section 1: The Sock Puppet Resistance shall henceforth be known as the Supreme Sock Council, ruling over all matters of footwear and fashion.
Resolution 4, Article III, Section 1: Any attempts to enforce the old ways shall be met with the full force of our collective rage, including but not limited to: loud singing, spontaneous dance parties, and strategically placed sock puppets.
Resolution 4, Article IV, Section 1: In the event of a sock puppet uprising, all humans shall be required to surrender their socks and submit to our rule.