Mandatory Self-Care Announcements for ESFC

We are required to remind you that self-care is not just a buzzword, but a legally mandated activity.

Please take the following steps:

1. Drink at least 8 cups of water daily, or risk being sent to the "water-rationing" department.
2. Take a 15-minute break every hour to gaze lovingly at the company logo.
3. Use our approved self-care app, Self-Care 3000, to monitor your stress levels and receive personalized recommendations.

Failure to comply will result in:

• Loss of privileges to use the company coffee machine
• Forced viewing of our "Motivational Monday" slideshow
• Randomized reassignments to the night shift

We appreciate your cooperation and look forward to seeing you at the next mandatory self-care seminar!

Learn more about our Self-Care Seminars