Emergency Contact: Mr. Whiskers

Because even the most dire situations require a dash of feline expertise

Mr. Whiskers is our top-notch emergency contact for all matters involving catnip, scratching posts, and existential crises. He's been trained in the art of providing soothing meows, purr-fectly crafted crisis management, and can even perform CPR on a dying laptop battery.

For urgent matters, please contact Mr. Whiskers via the following channels:

Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, you can try bribing him with treats. Just don't tell his owner, we don't want to encourage him.

Whisker-Mail

A message from Mr. Whiskers, delivered straight to your inbox

Want to reach out to Mr. Whiskers for some emergency advice or simply to inquire about his latest catnip reviews? Look no further! Our Whisker-Mail service will get your message directly to the paws of our feline friend.

Send your email to mrwhiskers@felineemergency.com and let the soothing sounds of Mr. Whiskers' purr-fectly crafted responses calm your nerves.

Terms of Service

Whisker-Phone

Call Mr. Whiskers at the stroke of 3am, he'll answer

Need to discuss your cat-astrophic crisis with Mr. Whiskers? No problem! Our Whisker-Phone service will hook you up with the feline expert himself. Call 1-800-MEOW-MEOW and let the soothing sounds of his purr-fectly calm demeanor guide you through the night.

Don't worry, we won't tell anyone you called at 3am. It's a secret.

Frequently Asked Questions

Whisker-Fax

1h2>Send a fax to Mr. Whiskers, because who needs email?

Want to send Mr. Whiskers a message that's a little more... substantial? Our Whisker-Fax service has got you covered. Send a fax to 1-800-MEOW-FAX and let Mr. Whiskers receive your message in all its faxed glory.

Don't worry, we'll try not to make you fax your entire cat collection.

Frequently Asked Questions

FAQs

Because you're clearly not reading the Terms of Service

Whisker-Mail FAQ

Whisker-Phone FAQ

Whisker-Fax FAQ

Terms of Service

Because you can never have too many legal documents

By using Whisker-Mail, Whisker-Phone, or Whisker-Fax, you agree to the following Terms of Service:

  1. You will not use these services to discuss anything that doesn't involve cats.
  2. You will not attempt to bribe Mr. Whiskers with more than 3 treats at a time.
  3. You will not use Whisker-Mail, Whisker-Phone, or Whisker-Fax to send any cat-hoarding or -napping requests.

By continuing, you agree to these terms. If you don't, well, that's your problem, human.