The Art of Exceptional Attendance

Welcome, esteemed colleague, to the most epic tale of exceptional attendance in the history of our esteemed company. I'm sure you're all aware that our meeting attendance has been, shall we say, less than exceptional lately.

I, the Great Overlord of Meetings, shall now guide you through the intricacies of our new attendance policy, which is as follows:

Section 1: The Exceptional Attendance Exception Policy

As you may have noticed, our previous policy was, well, not exactly exceptional. So, we've created a new policy that allows for exceptional circumstances, like:

• Exception 1: "I was having a moment of inadvertent absurdity" - a rare, but not unheard of, condition where you're having a meeting-induced existential crisis.
• Exception 2: "I was stuck in a meeting from a parallel dimension" - a condition we're still trying to figure out, but sounds plausible, right?

For the above exceptions, please fill out the following form:

Reason for Exception:

Or, if you're feeling extra exceptional, you can just Pretend Not to be There.