Standard Operational Procedures for Exceptional Attendance

For those who refuse to be ordinary, we have created an exceptional set of procedures.

Exceptions are the new normal. Don't @ us.

Procedure 1: The Art of Sudden Departure

Leave quickly, leave quietly, leave with your belongings.

Example: Leaving on a Friday at 4:59 PM

Procedure 2: The Craft of Creative Excuse

From the flu to the family dog, from the in-laws to the cat, we will believe anything.

Examples: The Most Creative Excuses Ever Told

Committee on Unusual Attendance Patterns