As of 2025, our company has adopted a new attendance policy. If you're not physically present, we'll assume you're a robot sent from the depths of the internet.
In order to ensure our meeting minutes are taken seriously, we require all attendees to have a human face, or at least a convincing AI-powered facsimile.
Exceptions will be made for employees on Mars missions. Please bring proof of Martian gravity-induced hair loss, or we'll assume you're just a fake mustachioed hipster from Earth.
For those with actual, honest-to-goodness robots in the room, kindly bring a signed waiver from your robot overlords, stating you're not here to plot against humanity.
Questions, comments, or concerns? Robot Lawsuit Policy
Want to see our meeting minutes from last week? Mars Mission Minutes