Attendance Policy: A Guide for John, the Unreliable Attendee
Disclaimer: These rules are subject to change, like John's mood.
As a valued (and occasionally problematic) member of our team, we've compiled a comprehensive guide to our attendance policy. Follow these simple rules to avoid being late, or worse, absent.
- Arrive on time. If you can't, just pretend you were there.
- Turn off your phone. We mean it.
- Don't talk to your neighbor. They're not there.
- Ask for the bathroom key. It's not like we're running a hostel here.
Failure to comply with these rules will result in:
Punishments:
- Verbal warning: A stern lecture from the meeting leader.
- Moral warning: A raised eyebrow from the meeting leader.
- Physical warning: A gentle tap on the shoulder from the meeting leader.
- Warning: You will be asked to leave. And possibly never come back.
For more information on our meeting attendance policies, visit: