Important Notice: Please be advised that our company has a strict no-actual-work policy. Meetings are the primary source of productivity.
Attendance Policy:
As per our company policy, every single meeting must be attended by at least 75% of employees to be considered a success. Any less and you will be forced to watch an endless loop of our CEO's PowerPoint presentation of "Why Meetings Matter" for 3 hours straight.
Exceptions to this rule include:
- If you're in the bathroom during said meeting, you're exempt.
- If you're on a coffee break, you're exempt. (Just be sure to bring back a refill for your coworkers.)
- If you're in a meeting about a different meeting, you're exempt. (Just don't ask why.)
Attendance Tracker:
A tool to track the attendance of meetings. It's like a digital Rolodex, but with more cat pictures.