Age: 87

Our most seasoned attendee, Senior Citizen, has been attending meetings for 50 years. He has mastered the art of falling asleep in 5 minutes or less.

His superpower: the ability to recall every meeting he's ever been to, but only if they were held in 1978 or earlier.

Favorite hobby: yelling at kids to get off his lawn.

Next meeting: Young Whippersnapper (Please don't sit near him, he snores)