Prophet #1: The Unyielding
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- Knows the way to the fridge
- Has a PhD in procrastination
- Has a beard that's longer than your attention span
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Prophet #2: The Unpredictable
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- Makes decisions based on tarot cards
- Has a 50/50 chance of being right
- Guaranteed to make you question everything
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Prophet #3: The Unrelenting
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- Will not rest until you understand the truth
- Has a PhD in annoying people
- Has a 100% chance of being right (in their own mind)
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Prophet #4: The Unconventional
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- Believes in alternate realities
- Says they're from a parallel universe
- Has a tendency to disappear at inconvenient times
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Prophet #5: The Unaccountable
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- Doesn't believe in rules or schedules
- Shows up when they feel like it
- Has a 0% chance of being on time