MEETING OF THE UNINITIATED | Attendees | Numbers 1-5

Prophet #1: The Unyielding

1. Knows the way to the fridge
2. Has a PhD in procrastination
3. Has a beard that's longer than your attention span

Prophet #2: The Unpredictable

1. Makes decisions based on tarot cards
2. Has a 50/50 chance of being right
3. Guaranteed to make you question everything

Prophet #3: The Unrelenting

1. Will not rest until you understand the truth
2. Has a PhD in annoying people
3. Has a 100% chance of being right (in their own mind)

Prophet #4: The Unconventional

1. Believes in alternate realities
2. Says they're from a parallel universe
3. Has a tendency to disappear at inconvenient times

Prophet #5: The Unaccountable

1. Doesn't believe in rules or schedules
2. Shows up when they feel like it
3. Has a 0% chance of being on time