Chapter 1: Pre-Banishment Protocol
When faced with an attendee who will not attend the meeting, follow these steps:
- Call their bluff.
- Repeat back their non-attendance in a concerned tone of voice.
- Send them a strongly-worded email.
- Have them attend via video conference, even if they're not actually there.
Chapter 2: The Art of Passive-Aggressive Notes
When taking notes, be sure to use a font that is as small as possible and as illegible as humanly possible.
- Use Comic Sans.
- Use Comic Sans Italic.
- Use Comic Sans Italic Bold.
Chapter 3: The Banishment Flowchart
Chapter 4: The 5-Step Guide to Not Being There
The Prime Minister's Handbook for Banishment
Chapter 1: Pre-Banishment Protocol
When faced with an attendee who will not attend the meeting, follow these steps:
- Call their bluff.
- Repeat back their non-attendance in a concerned tone of voice.
- Send them a strongly-worded email.
- Have them attend via video conference, even if they're not actually there.
Chapter 2: The Art of Passive-Aggressive Notes
When taking notes, be sure to use a font that is as small as possible and as illegible as humanly possible.
- Use Comic Sans.
- Use Comic Sans Italic.
- Use Comic Sans Italic Bold.
Chapter 3: The Banishment Flowchart
Chapter 4: The 5-Step Guide to Not Being There
Follow these steps, but don't actually do them. That would be silly.
- Distract them with a nearby cat.
- Call in a fake emergency.
- Send a fake email with a fake meeting invite.
- Claim you're allergic to the meeting.
- Say the meeting was a dream.
More Banishment Tips
The Prime Minister's Handbook for Banishment
Chapter 1: Pre-Banishment Protocol
When faced with an attendee who will not attend the meeting, follow these steps:
- Call their bluff.
- Repeat back their non-attendance in a concerned tone of voice.
- Send them a strongly-worded email.
- Have them attend via video conference, even if they're not actually there.
Chapter 2: The Art of Passive-Aggressive Notes
When taking notes, be sure to use a font that is as small as possible and as illegible as humanly possible.
- Use Comic Sans.
- Use Comic Sans Italic.
- Use Comic Sans Italic Bold.
Chapter 3: The Banishment Flowchart
Chapter 4: The 5-Step Guide to Not Being There
Follow these steps, but don't actually do them. That would be silly.
- Distract them with a nearby cat.
- Call in a fake emergency.
- Send a fake email with a fake meeting invite.
- Claim you're allergic to the meeting.
- Say the meeting was a dream.