Welcome, poor soul, to our esteemed company's Forced Relocation Policy. Because who needs stability, anyway?
Our company has deemed your current location to be suboptimal, and we're relocating you to a new, slightly less terrible location. Don't ask why; just accept it.
Q: Why can't I just stay in my old office?
A: Because we said so, and that's all you need to know.
Q: Will I have time for lunch?
A: Ha! What's the point of having a lunch break when you're just going to spend it wondering where the break room is?