Minutes of Despair, Part 4 - Attendees' Rebuttal

Present: John, Jane, Bob, and the CEO (who's clearly lost his mind)

Objective: To discuss the impending doom of our beloved company and the futility of human existence

Discussion:

John: We're doomed. The apocalypse is nigh.
Jane: I'm not sure, but I've heard rumors of a secret underground bunker with a fully-stocked snack bar.
Bob: I've seen the bunker. It's got a great selection of organic, non-GMO, gluten-free granola.
CEO: WE'RE GOING TO SURVIVE THIS, TEAM! WE'VE GOT A 3D PRINTED TOILET IN THE BUNKER!

Action Items:

John: We need to build a giant, flaming, laser-guided catapult to escape the impending doom.
Jane: I'll work on the snack bar. Who's in charge of the organic, non-GMO, gluten-free granola?
Bob: I'll start digging the trench for the catapult. Who's in charge of the hard hats?
CEO: WE'RE GOING TO NEED TO OUTSOURCE THE HARD HATS. ANYBODY KNOW ANY GOOD SOURCES FOR IMPORTED, FAKE MUSTACHE-HATS?

Adjournment

Meeting adjourned due to the impending doom and the realization that we'll probably just end up eating Cheetos in the bunker anyway.