Meeting Avoidance Technique 3.4: The Illness Verification Protocol

When faced with a meeting invitation, follow these steps to verify whether you're actually sick or just lazy:

1. Check if you have a fever. If you don't, you're probably not sick.
2. Count the number of days since you last had a decent night's sleep. If it's less than 3, you might as well be sick.
3. Recall your last few meals. If they were mostly pizza and energy drinks, you're probably not sick, just hungover.
4. Assess your mental state. If you're feeling anxious or depressed, you might actually be sick, but probably not as sick as you think.

Step 3.5: Caffeine Rationing Step 4: Post-it Note Protocol Step 5: Pretentious Explanations

Don't forget to follow up on these steps regularly, or you'll never know when you're actually sick!