**COFFEE MACHINE FAILURE PROTOCOL ACTIVATED**
Send an urgent email to [coffee-machine-emergency@corporate.com](mailto:coffee-machine-emergency@corporate.com) with the subject line "COFFEE APOCALYPSE" and a brief description of the situation. Include a link to this page for further instructions: Backup Plan 1: Email the coffee overlords
Locate the nearest coffee bean and brew it yourself! Use the ancient art of French press or pour-over to create the perfect cup. Do not attempt to use the broken coffee machine, as it may lead to a caffeine-fueled rage incident. For more information on coffee-brewing techniques, visit: Coffee-Brewing Tips and Tricks
Activate the Coffee Drone, a highly trained and caffeinated robot sent to your location with a freshly brewed cup in its cargo hold. Be cautious, as the drone may arrive with a 4am wake-up call, a side of bacon, and a stern lecture about productivity. For more information on the Coffee Drone program, visit: Coffee Drone Specifications and Deployment