Mecha-Monkeys: Decision Matrix - A Galactic Guide to Saving Your Sanity

Are you tired of meetings that last longer than a T-Rex's attention span? Do you struggle to make decisions that don't suck? Do you dream of galactic conquest, but your meetings are more like a galactic nightmare?

Options Pros Cons
Option 1: Bluff, bluster, & pretend it's not a meeting May lead to increased productivity, decreased eye-rolling Might result in actual work getting done, but who needs that?
Option 2: Eat a whole pizza by yourself Provides a much-needed break from actual decision-making May lead to pizza-fueled rage-induced psychosis
Option 3: Call a random number, pretend it's a 'consultant' Makes everyone feel special (except you) May lead to actual, genuine, non-fictitious consultants calling you back