Section 3.3: Emergency Meeting Protocols for the Unprepared

In the event of a catastrophic event, such as the apocalypse, zombie uprising, or sudden and unexplained disappearance of the CEO, follow these steps:

1. Call the emergency services number, but only if you're sure the world hasn't ended.
2. Grab your emergency kit, which includes:
   • 1 can of SPAM
   • 1 bottle of water
   • 1 first-aid kit (contents: 1 band-aid, 1 aspirin)
3. Proceed to the designated safe zone, which is actually just the break room.