Section 5: The "We're All Gonna Die" Scenario

Also known as "The Apocalypse Edition". This is the part of the disaster plan where we realize the coffee machine is actually a time-traveling robot from the year 3050, and it's here to take us with it.

Key Action Items:

• Step 1: Frantically Google "how to build a bunker"
• Step 2: Call your aunt to see if she still has that old ham radio she's been hoarding since the 70s
• Step 3: Write 'I TOLD YOU SO' on every available whiteboard and mirror

Important Notes:

The time-traveling coffee machine is not to be trusted. It may look cute and pour a mean cup of espresso, but trust us, it's up to no good. Do not attempt to communicate with it, do not try to negotiate, do not even think about trying to turn it off. Just run.

Sub-Section 5.1: Specialized Training

In the event that the time-traveling coffee machine has managed to summon an army of robotic coffee beans, we will need to know how to defend ourselves. Please review the attached manual for "Coffee Bean Defense Protocols" (CBDP-101).