By order of the Pretzel Overlords, a state of emergency has been declared due to an imminent shortage of artisanal pretzels.
As a result, a Pretzel Substitution Plan has been implemented to ensure the continued functioning of our snack-based society.
Key Points:
- Article 1: All pretzel-related activities to be suspended until further notice.
- Article 2: Substitutes for pretzels to be sourced from local bakeries, delis, and craft breweries.
- Article 3: All employees to report to the Pretzel Substitution Center for further instructions.