Why Can't We Just Work from Home?

It's a well-documented fact that our manager, Bertrand P. Bottomsworth, is resistant to allowing us to work from home. But why is this?

Is it because he fears we'll be too productive and make him look bad? Or maybe it's because he enjoys micromanaging our coffee breaks?

Here are a few possible reasons:

We'll be too distracted by our cat's adorable little nose.
Our homes are clearly inferior to our office space (i.e., our couches are not as comfortable as our office chairs).
We might start a home-based cult and begin worshipping the coffee maker as our new deity.

But seriously, we'll try to get to the bottom of this mystery. In the meantime, here's what our manager has to say:

"You'll just have to trust me, folks. I'm the expert here."