Attendees: John, Jane, and the CEO.
The meeting was called to order at 10:00 AM by the CEO. The first order of business was to decide on the fate of the company's coffee machine. Should it be:
The CEO suggested that the machine be repurposed as a plant eradicator, as the new plants would be "a nice change of pace" from the usual "burning-sensory-overload" of the office.
John and Jane were opposed to this idea, citing "health risks" and "unprofessionalism." However, they were overruled by the CEO, who pointed out that "if we can't take care of a few extra ferns, we might as well just go ahead and install a waterfall in the break room."
Next on the agenda was the discussion of the new employee handbook, which had been "revised" by the CEO in a fit of inspiration the night before. The revised version included a new section on "Proper Coffee Machine Etiquette" and a revised section on "The Importance of Not Being a Jerk."
After a heated debate, the meeting concluded with the decision to implement the revised handbook and to have a company-wide meeting to discuss the finer points of "Proper Coffee Machine Etiquette."
Adjournment of the meeting was at 11:30 AM.