Warning: the following techniques are not recommended for actual productivity.

Technique 1: The Art of Zoning Out

Stare intently at the ceiling, or better yet, your phone. The goal is to appear engaged without being actually engaged.

See Technique 1 in action A monocle for the occasion

Or, you know, just pretend to listen.

And don't even get me started on the hats. These are not actual hats, but merely decorative suggestions.

See Monocle 1 in action
The 'I'm Not Listening' Hat
The 'I'm on Fire' Hat
The 'I'm Not a Morning Person' Hat

Technique 2: The Art of Multitasking

Do something, anything, else. Check your email, scroll through social media, or play solitaire. The goal is to appear busy without actually accomplishing anything.

See Technique 2 in action

And don't forget to take notes. Not on what's being said, but on your to-do list for when you finally get back to work.