Your Fortune for the Day
According to our highly scientific, totally-not-made-up methods, today you will:
- Spill coffee on your shirt at exactly 9:47 AM, setting you back by 3 hours and $20.
- Receive an unexpected phone call from your in-laws, who will ask for yet another favor.
- Realize you forgot to buy milk and will have to subsist on a diet of nothing but ramen noodles and existential dread for the rest of the day.
- Accidentally superglue your shoes to the floor, forcing you to perform an impromptu tap dance routine for your coworkers.