4a. The Unrelenting Pursuit of Bureaucracy

Value 1: Meeting Frequency

At least 5 meetings a week is the bare minimum. Anything less is considered a free weekend.

• Weekly team meetings: 5 days a week, every day at 3pm sharp
• Bi-weekly subteam meetings: because 5 meetings a week is not enough
• Monthly all-hands meeting: because we love watching 30 people nod in unison
• Daily check-ins: because you never know when the apocalypse will hit

Next: 5b. The Inevitable Deadlines

Value 2: Jargon

A well-crafted buzzword is a well-crafted thing. Use them liberally, use them wisely.

• Synergy: when two people work together, but only one person gets credit
• Disruption: when someone new shows up and breaks everything
• Innovation: when we remake the wheel, but with slightly better materials

Previous: 4c. The Essential Arcana of Powerpoint