2:00-2:30: Breakfast Standards Committee
2:30-3:00: The Ineffable Incompetence of Bob
3:00-3:30: Creative Idea Generation Workshop: The Art of Not Getting Anything Done
3:30-4:00: Bob's Performance Review
4:00-4:30: Optional Siesta
Q: Why must I attend this meeting? A: Because it's mandatory. Don't pretend you didn't see the memo.
Q: What if I'm allergic to meetings? A: You're not allergic. You're just not a team player.
This meeting is a simulation of a real meeting. Any resemblance to actual events or people is purely coincidental.
Do Not Adjust Your Life To This Meeting.
Do Not Adjust Your Expectations.
Do Not Adjust Anything.