8:00 AM - Arrival of Coffee Machine ( Late, as per usual.)
8:15 AM - Mandatory team-building exercises (Trust falls for everyone, because, why not?)
12:00 PM - Lunch Break: Free food for all, but only the free food that's been sitting in the break room since 2018.
3:00 PM - The "Let's Pretend We're a Family" trust-building activity (Just go with it.)
Don't forget to RSVP! (Just kidding, it's not like you can opt-out of this stuff.)