Chapter 4: The Anatomy of a Perfect Excuse

As a seasoned opt-out expert, you know that the key to success lies in crafting the perfect excuse.
The following table provides an exhaustive list of possible excuses for every occasion.

Sick Day Broken leg, sudden onset narcolepsy, or unexpected case of the Mondays
Running Late Traffic, construction, or my cat's existential crisis
Can't Make It Family emergency, or I'm secretly a professional hammock-tester

Remember, the art of the perfect excuse is all about creativity and flexibility.
Don't get caught dead with a boring excuse!