Dear [Name],
Unfortunately, due to unforeseen circumstances, [Reason for absence] I was unable to attend our meeting on [Date].
I know, I know, it's a tragedy. But rest assured, I am not lazy, I'm just on an extended coffee break. The world outside is a cruel and unforgiving place, and sometimes you have to take a step back, take a deep breath, and recharge your batteries.
I've attached a document with some alternative meeting notes, just in case you're wondering what you might have missed. Don't worry, I've included all the important stuff. Like, uh, the part about the importance of coffee breaks.
Looking forward to catching up soon. Maybe.
Best regards,
EPIC EXCUSE MASTER