Section 1: Sock Protocol
Article 1: Socks shall be worn with matching pants. Failure to comply will result in immediate dismissal from the meeting.
Article 2: Socks shall be made of cotton or synthetic materials. Anything less will be considered a fashion emergency.
Section 2: Meeting Etiquette
Article 1: All attendees shall address each other with their title and department. (e.g., "Hello, John from Accounting.")
Article 2: No one shall speak while eating. This includes, but is not limited to, bagels, sandwiches, and fruit.
Section 3: Meeting Schedule
Article 1: All meetings shall start on time. If you are late, please arrive prepared to apologize profusely.
Article 2: Meetings shall last precisely 60 minutes. Any deviation from this schedule will be considered a meeting-astrophe.